Every time I sit down to write here I try to come up with some kind of lesson that I have learned or find a way to end the post with some kind of positive vibe. It just feels better honestly to walk away from the computer knowing I put something good out there. The reality is that I don’t always have a good lesson to share, or insight into what being in pain 24/7 can teach you. Sometimes it just sucks really bad, and other times it is business as usual.
The more my medical life calms down into the everyday ins and outs of a chronic pain patient who has accepted they aren’t going to be “fixed” the less profound things I have to say. Which is kind of depressing when you think about it. I mean, what’s the point in all of this if I am not going to at least become some kind of guru or something right?
So anyway, I’ve been sitting here considering the lack of my words on the screen lately and I’ve realized how much I miss having a place to put all of the stuff that is swimming around inside my brain. Maybe when I look back on my less than exciting posts I will find some odd message I didn’t even know I was putting out there, but for now I figure I can entertain you guys with some day-to-day crap and you can read it if you want, or just wait for the really awesome stuff to come back. Your call.
The biggest thing I’ve got going on right now is that I am down to just one prescribed pain medication, which is pretty awesome to me since for a good six months I was taking a narcotic, Tramadol (Ultram), a muscle relaxer and using LidoDERM 5% patches. At this point I am almost completely weaned off the Tramadol and I haven’t needed the muscle relaxers in two solid months.
That is pretty awesome.
I haven’t really considered that until just now.
What’s funny about this is that I’ve been debating for the last two weeks whether or not I should start on a new medication to help with my pain, and was really going back and forth on it. In a perfect world, the least amount of chemicals in my body is preferred, but I also never want to pass up the opportunity to find relief and get back more of my life. I’ve been praying and searching for guidance on this, feeling stressed about making a decision before The Hubs and I go on vacation in a few weeks and BAM, there it is.
That God sure has a crazy way of answering doesn’t He?